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    July 14

    浮尘

    我的份量也许远不及一粒沙。若能如浮尘一般,留存下一丝的痕迹,已经是我的造化了。
    几年前在学术会议上,远远望着老李在台上谈笑风生,他培养出的门生都已经成为学术圈的中流砥柱。那时候只是单纯的崇拜着,羡慕着。
    慢慢的走进这样的生活,更发现,他的一句话足以令众多人马首是瞻。老李的人生应该就是那种特别辉煌,能够在史书上浓墨重彩的角色。一个人和一个梦想一样,太遥远的时候,觉得神秘,成为自己生活的一部分之后,也会从慢慢的忐忑,到融入其中,仿佛自己的人生也跟着精彩起来。
    不过,什么时候都没有免费的午餐。为了一点点的满足,要付出的努力又何止是时间和精力的堆积。大概是太容易怀疑自己,总是担心被排斥在外,被忽略,被嫌弃。小心翼翼的做人做事。总是会为了自己无心说的一句话忐忑不安,会为了别人的态度,心神不宁。只需轻轻的一阵风,就可以让我荡然无存。

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